Steve & Tonya outside Amos Pewter in Mahone Bay, Nova Scotia
If your inbox has seemed a little quieter than usual over the past few weeks, your eyes
aren't deceiving you! After the whirlwind of preparing for the Disability & the Church conference last month, I did something I don't do often enough: I stepped away.
Steve and I just celebrated our 38th wedding anniversary, and we took the past few weeks to entirely unplug, travel, and focus on family. It was a beautiful, restorative break, but as we wrapped up our travels, I found myself thinking so much about the unique, beautiful, and sometimes complicated dynamics of extended families—especially when a child has a disability.
Which brings me right to today's brand-new release of Episode 153.
Can I ask you a deeply personal question? Has a grandparent or close relative ever looked at your child and just… not gotten it?
Maybe they said the wrong thing at the worst possible moment. Maybe they questioned your parenting, brushed off a diagnosis, or whispered about "discipline" when your child was actually experiencing sensory overload or medical distress. Maybe they love your child with every fiber of their being, but they have absolutely no idea how to connect—and watching that gap widen is quietly breaking your heart.
As a parent of two children with different disabilities, I’ve felt those exact pangs. If you are nodding your head right now, please know: I hear you. And this week's episode was recorded with your heart in mind.
I sat down with Dr. Theresa Lyons—a Yale-trained scientist, autism educator, and the incredible voice behind Navigating Autism. While Dr. Lyons' clinical focus is specifically on autism, as we talked, I realized that the truths she shares apply beautifully to every family navigating a special needs journey.
As we were talking, Dr. Lyons shared a piece of data that absolutely stopped me in my tracks:
Research on nearly 2,000 grandparents found that they desperately want to connect with their grandchildren—they just don't know how.
When we look at it through that lens, everything shifts. That isn't an extended family member who doesn't care; that is someone sitting on the sidelines, waiting for someone to hand them the playbook.
In this episode (available right now on the podcast and over on YouTube!), we dive into:
The Hidden Grief: Why grandparents grieve a diagnosis too, and how learning to work with that grief instead of against it can heal your relationship.
The Multigenerational Advantage: The fascinating role an involved grandmother can play in noticing early developmental milestones and supporting the family.
The Script: How to approach these heavy, emotional conversations without the whole thing blowing up in a shouting match.
The Beautiful After: What it looks like when a family member truly "gets it"—and how that dynamic changes your child's entire world.
Whether you need this episode for your own heart, or you want to quietly slip the link into a text message to your child's grandparents, I truly believe these insights are going to open doors for your family.
It feels good to be back at the microphone and connecting with you again. Drop me a reply and let me know how your family handles these generational gaps—I'd love to hear your story!
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